Great Teacher Nen

uhhhh

2008-09-20T14:14:00.004-04:00

something about my blog got screwed up... the picture won't do what it's supposed to. it's stupid.

i don't know why i'm worried about it though... i don't really blog much. and i will probably continue my current trend.

mikey is home

2008-09-06T13:19:00.002-04:00

i take so much for granted. mikey, having just returned from desertland, sees everything here as glorious. the shower doesn't fill up as you're cleaning yourself. there is rain (we are currently griping about it being TOO much, but he's just glad it exists). there are many more things, but the most important is that he is home. it is fun and exciting. the oldest childrens are home. the youngest one is away. it's like when mikey and i were toddlers. hehehe.

let the kittens lick our hair.

2008-08-28T22:08:00.000-04:00

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! school.

in love with a manbird

2008-08-28T21:48:00.002-04:00

My dewy-eyed disney bride what has tried / swapping your blood with formaldehyde? / Monsters? / Whiskey-plied voices cried fratricide! / Jesus don't you know that you coulda died shoulda died / with the monsters what talk / monsters what walk the earth / she's got red lipstick / and a bright pair of shoes / she's got knee high socks / what to cover a bruise / she's got an old death kit / she's been meaning to use / she's got blood in her eyes in her eyes for you / she's got blood in her eyes for you / certain fads, stripes and plaids singles ads / run you hot and cold like a rheostat I mean a thermostat / so you bite on a towel / hope it won't hurt too bad / she says I like long walks and sci-fi movies / you're six foot tall and east coast bred / some lonely night we can get together / and I'm gonna tie your wrists with leather / and drill a tiny hole into your head

received

2008-07-17T23:21:00.003-04:00

a package arrived in the mail today. it was small and unassuming. i didn't think it was for me. until i read the address. i received the first CD of the second 5N CD machine. many more to come. i need to send mine out this time. brainstorming.

Courtney's Mix: The 25th Dilemma

1. Fools by The Dodos

2. Say Hello by Rosie Thomas & Sufjan Stevens

3. Through the Glass Darkly by Annie Lennox

4. I Was Stabbed by Satan by Kanaan

5. The Rip by Portishead

6. The Biggest Lie by Elliott Smith

7. Carolyn's Fingers by Cocteau Twins

8. Turpentine by Brandi Carlile

9. She Smiled Sweetly by The Rolling Stones

10. 320 by Project Jenny Project Jan

11. Like You'll Never See Me Again by Alicia Keys

12. Ben by Michael Jackson

13. A Wave is Rolling by The Innocence Mission

14. Don't Be So Mean Jellybean by Justin Rutledge

15. Fistful of Love by Antony and The Johnsons

16. Middle Distance Runner by Sea Wolf

17. The Greatest Man That Ever Lived by Weezer

it's quirky. mellow. bizarre. that's how we roll on 5N. *well... we rolled... now there's a new regime.*

the sky is falling

2008-06-16T17:02:00.002-04:00

i think we have one or two storms each week. and not any pathetic rain showers... storms. thunder and lightning. power outages. trees blowing in the wind.

things worthy of noting today:

"you have some greedy little mice!" - suburban pest guy who came to refill the traps with poison

the ability to read needs to be cultivated and sustained. regular reading will make and keep you a good reader.

i really didn't read much as a kid that i can remember. so now, as an adult, i read what i "should have read" as a kid. ignoring much of what i'm "supposed to read" as an adult.

julio needs to get the gutters cleaned out.

moving on:

i have much work ahead of me... but i'm not starting with nothing. it will be ok. teacher training is kind of fun. we read things and talk about things. rachel and i looked at the units of study we'll be covering in the coming year. i think it's going to be fun... we'll be having a colonial christmas celebration!

my hand/elbow/arm is a little sore from writing out my "childhood as a reader" in response to the article i just read for homework. hehe. the article is by Dana Gioia, a poet, and is about how he came to love literature. right up my alley. i tell you this school is already so much better for me. i come home bubbling over with excitement each day i'm there. full of ideas and chatter. it's rather shocking to drew. anyways... a few of Dana's poems were behind the article in our packet of things from training. i read the first one... and it's nice. (nice is a bad word. ick.)

i was thinking about words the other night (particularly the word "potential" and its loaded nature) so this poem goes along with that. funny how life kind of all comes together at times.

The world does not need words. It articulates itself

in sunlight, leaves, and shadows. The stones on the path

are no less real for lying uncatalogued and uncounted.

The fluent leaves speak only the dialect of pure being.

The kiss is still fully itself though no words were spoken.

And one word transforms it into something less or other -

illicit, chaste, perfunctory, conjugal, covert.

Even calling it a kiss betrays the fluster of hands

glancing the skin or gripping a shoulder, the slow

arching of neck or knee, the silent touching of tongues.

Yet the stones remain less real to those who cannot

name them, or read the must syllables graven in silica.

To see a read stone is less than seeing it as jasper -

metamorphic quartz, cousin to the flint the Kiowa

carved as arrowheads. To name is to know and remember.

The sunlight needs no praise piercing the rainclouds,

painting the rocks and leaves with light, then dissolving

each lucent droplet back into the clouds that engendered it.

The daylight needs no praise, and so we praise it always -

greater than ourselves and all the airy words we summon.

i got to thinking...

2008-06-12T15:41:00.003-04:00

yes. i finally saw it. school is over, i have time on my hands, i treated myself to a movie, popcorn and sour patch kids. fabulous.

and i learned... i'm pretty happy. and i can't keep waiting for life to start, for money to flow in and supply me with the labels i want. i've got what i need. i just wish i had girlfriends right here beside me to share it with. when one has a boyfriend whom one loves and spends all her time with, where does one find time to grab a few girlfriends?

only once more

2008-06-10T23:25:00.001-04:00

I will turn in my key tomorrow. Then it's off to a picnic at my new school. Let the work begin.

summer's here.. better keep busy, busy, busy.

style your wake for fashion magazines

2008-05-12T17:35:00.003-04:00

the meeting with amy went exceedingly well today. i quite possibly have a new job for the fall. barring any issues with simply signing a contract, i will start in june, however. my whole summer looks different and i feel happy. it feels right. it feels like a gift, and i'm sure it is.

now. i would like nothing more than to have a leisurely evening.... watch last night's DH, then shower, then grade. BUT... as i grow more tired, i need to focus and get the grading done. i also have to nail down (make the boys make a decision OR make one for them) a PLAN for the week's events.

it is so cold. freaking-a.

and the rain. it pounds.

2008-05-11T20:36:00.002-04:00

attempts to see radiohead... thwarted by torrential downpour and gusts of wind.

i guess now i have more time to get ready for the crazy week ahead.. or i could go to bed early. hrmm....

landsakes! if you don't learn to pick up your clothes, you never will keep a husband

2008-05-10T22:45:00.002-04:00

Sunday: radiohead (in the rain...??)

new job?

we'll see Monday at 4pm.

currently hate all clothing.. nothing feels right. nothing fights right. icky icky icky. that doesn't make dressing up twice next week seem so happy. not to mention having to plan enough work for 8 kids to keep busy for two days while i'm away. hum de dum.

Tuesday: must go shopping AGAIN. need outfit for Thursday. still need a wrap for the dress on Friday.

Wednesday: packing and last minute preps for departure.

Thursday: traveling to ATL. rehearsal dinner, etc.

Friday: wedding of the johnevieve.

Saturday: Chatty?

Sunday: traveling back to NoVA

when will i plan for the following week? hrm...

guess i can at least get this week done..... i think they use natasha bedingfield "unwritten" too often on TV commercials. overuse, my friends, makes people sick.

i need you so much closer.

2008-04-23T19:48:00.000-04:00

lawn has been visited by the mowing fairies. twas a pleasant surprise.

oh.yes.that's how i feel.

2008-04-19T11:32:00.001-04:00

you shall never return

2008-04-15T20:13:00.003-04:00

ok. my brain froze.

i guess i subscribed to Martha Stewart Living. i don't remember doing that. but there she is. with my name on her.

here's just some things:

1. i don't even know what to do with a computer when drew and/or cass aren't online.

2. it's not a good idea to talk high and lofty politics/religion around me.

3. my stomach is being weird.

4. thank goodness i'm not getting married yet. i realized on saturday in the midst of all the wedding talk that i just don't want to be that girl yet. all those 100s of tiny decisions. no. not yet.

5. i need more sleep.

6. prozac nation could be about me... except for all the sex, drugs, alcohol, and wanting to die. because i've never wanted to kill myself. i find that aspect of my depression interesting. i suppose i could say all kinds of things about what the movie meant and how interesting it was to see blah blah blah about the phenom of drug culture in america. but i won't. i don't want to. i just want to watch movies sometimes.

7. juno came out on DVD today.

8. i'm going to read a magazine now.

and if you were a kiss, i know i'd be a hug

2008-04-14T16:47:00.003-04:00

arriving home today, i was amused by our front lawn at 2901 cashel lane. yes, it's true. we could almost hide cars in the left side of the lawn. the right side, however, doesn't really have grass. in this case, i do feel bad for our neighbors. oi with the peruvian poodles, i say.

nine in the afternoon

2008-04-10T17:29:00.003-04:00

facebook has just reminded me that i am not a very good friend to people i cannot see and touch and smell. i would like to be a good friend to those people. like the ones i grew up going to church with. they're good people. i used to really like them and they really liked me. and they all do things. why am i not there? i didn't stop liking them... i just stopped talking because i'm lazy.

so i'm busy looking for a job. faced with the fact that 5th and 6th will most likely (with a highly unlikely slim chance of not) be combined next year at NVCA. my mind begins to imagine what that will entail and it squeals to a halt. not only would i have some of my kids i have now (i know for certain 2 will not be coming back and i imagine more will leave) in addition to the kids in 4th grade now. that bunch alone would have been insane to deal with. them AND mine? oi. with. the. poodles. i'd rather train newborn puppies. so kids... yikes. THEN you have to add in that i will be teaching two separate math lessons each day. and either have to create my own history curriculum or teach two of those. from there is just kinda goes loop-de-loo.

the loop-de-loo pushes me out the door, but out of that door i sort of get lost. i've done all the things i'm supposed to do to "apply" for public school jobs. i just keep thinking about last summer and never hearing from anyone. not a peep.

ah. anyways....

i've been watching Sex and the City lately. it reminds me that i'm not the only one in the world who is insane. they're "glamorous" but have mice in their apartments too. yes. mouse. we have one. and a smell... not a happy one. i swept today because i was so angry about the smell. and that's what exhausted and angry people do. they sweep.

well

see

i'm sitting down now

and my brain is turning off because it's tired

i must

shave my legs

my abs hurt when i stretch them

my legs/arms will hurt after tonight

i hate george already

why am i doing this?

i don't need muscles

i want to be huge and flabby

great movie quote

2008-02-17T14:45:00.003-05:00

Joan: Tomorrow, you know, they're going to come at me like savages. Maurading beasts, bent on destruction.

Debra: Stop it.

Joan: Debra, Debra. You work in advertising, a civilized business. I, on the other hand, work with monsters.

Debra: You're talking about 5-year-olds!

Joan: Right! And my job is to break their spirit! That's what kindergarten is all about. The Germans invented it, Debra, think about it.

new goal in life

2008-02-09T16:55:00.000-05:00

to be that woman

hmmmm again

2008-01-30T17:39:00.000-05:00

i'm sick of weddings. i do not like them, sam i am. sometimes i get excited.. ok.. whatever... but seriously. gag me. hit me over the head with a frying pan. even if i steer myself to thinking "this is research for that someday" i can't handle some of the drama.

in addition.. after feeling nearly 100% better monday and tuesday.... now i feel like puking actually. my co-worker and i bitched about some stuff for an hour after school... drama in the work place. yes. and i started to feel lightheaded toward the end... good. all very good. and i'm done now... cuz... yeah.

hmmm

2008-01-02T23:54:00.000-05:00

here i am at midnight on the eve of returning to school, holding my Christmas bonus from school that i have just now opened. that makes it just a tad more enjoyable. i have money i can actually just shove away to savings. or give to God because i haven't been so faithful there... maybe some child somewhere will be getting a goat. happy new year.

reality check

2008-01-01T03:12:00.000-05:00

i love christmas.... usually. this year held no special feeling for me. no special "omg!! it's christmas!!!" which is usually so exuberantly internal that it explodes outwardly onto everyone around me and they all want me to go away with the exuberance already. this christmas wasn't bad or anything, i just wasn't in it. i don't live at home anymore and since i live close by, i'm quite often not sleeping there consistently either. condition number one that makes this holiday weird and not usual. second condition: working until 4 days before the actual celebration day. i haven't gotten that close to christmas before a break in the last five years... and i'm pretty sure that includes the one where i flew to seattle at semester's end and then back home after visiting cass. right, right, i got the following entire week off... and the next. lucky me. still really not looking forward to going back to work. haven't fully recovered yet.

i was just reading on a fellow first year teacher's blog (covenant grad too) about her struggles in the first quarter with discipline. things have appeared to shape up for her since then. her goals that she set for herself were accomplished in this second quarter. at least, that's what i gather from her blog. perhaps i have too many things i wish to improve. maybe it's just easier to be a middle school teacher. i do not know.

let's start with my goals:

1. discipline: kids listen, obey, RESPECT

2. organization: know where everything is, everything has a place, stop losing things/not recording them in the right place

3. make history fun

one, two, three. easy as ABC. baby you and me.

where am i now?

1. discipline: kids only shut up when i yell, throat hurts at end of each day. mocking, not respecting.

2. organization: at least one science project is in a very large pile of papers that i'm tempted to throw away rather than grade...a parent may have asked me how her son did on that project and i lied because i didn't want to tell her i hadn't graded it in the last month i've had it. stacks of papers are everywhere. every map for history is on the floor, some have shoe prints from disrespectful kids stepping on them while attempting to catch something flying through the air. i sent home a history test that a lot of the kids did really well on and helped out their interim grades significantly without actually recording it anywhere. still have half those grades pending because they are lost in the lair of parentworld.

3. make history fun: every student, even the good one, has told me he/she hates history. we are very behind because even i don't like it (freaking A Beka). i hate teaching it because they hate when i teach it. i have a great interactive project idea but my school doesn't have the money to do it and so i haven't bothered to ask. i was going to use this lovely holiday break to brainstorm and plan some stuff for the kids, but now i have two days left. and nothing.

goals not accomplished. i look at the next month and wonder if i'll survive. the boyfriend reminded me that it's only 19 days. but let's throw in there - 7 basketball games. two practices for these two days of school alone. i don't even have the other practices on the calendar because i don't know them yet. next week is homecoming. and two korean kids start their month long stay with us on monday. i have two "normal" days to get the kids back into school mode and prepare everything for the new students. i know they'll be great. i just think they'll go back to korea and tell everyone that americans are crazy and jump around at school. because that's what my 6 boys do. and when i reprimand them they disrespect me.

this whole thing just makes me angry. i hate being mean. but i have to be in order for them to get it. i watched benjamin disrespect his mother the day before christmas break when she was trying to lead the christmas party she had planned for us. i feel like that's a sure sign there's no real reaching him. mom says go in mean on thursday. take no prisoners. all are left for dead.

you see though. anything i do just makes more work for me. even if it's standing at the copier for an extra five minutes. they've accomplished their goal in my head. they've made me go crazy enough to spend all my mental and emotional energy creating things for them as they continue to dance through my game, which is really their game with me jumping through hoops.

and underneath all this is this feeling that i did something wrong. that i didn't follow my dream and so am stuck in this unhappy place. i'm in limbo for the mistake i made. i don't have a classroom full of black children. i've gone astray.

of course.. it is 4 am on january first, 2008.

but no. i have these thoughts alot. and i ultimately do not know what to do with them. i need time to be with my crazy brain.... but time marches on and i don't know where it goes and then i am frenzied and don't think. more frenzy. more time. unwind. more frenzy. more time. more time. more time.

do i sign a renewal contract?

holidaze

2007-12-31T12:24:00.001-05:00

i want to learn french so i can mutter too.

me so tired.

yes yes.

2007-12-18T19:13:00.001-05:00

so thoroughly annoyed today.

2007-12-16T17:55:00.000-05:00

i wish santa was real and would just bring all the presents for everyone wrapped. i don't want to go out into the shopping hell anymore. even regular activities like grocery shopping seem impossible due to the hoards out there.

and.. why oh why is it that time of the month already again? if it weren't for hugh grant... i'd quit being a woman.

how did they get so much faster than us?

2007-12-13T20:13:00.000-05:00

two weeks after our season opener with ISA, we meet them again on home court (Hoop Magic, Chantilly, VA) and this time we astonished and amazed. we are fast like cheetahs. i believe in the 40 in 30. we are in shape and we can fast break on ISA all day long. our point played the entire game and didn't complain at all. she's amazing. and my little helpers are now fairly well trained... i can get my head back in the game.

and tomorrow's friday. christmas concert friday, but friday. i will take pictures and possibly recordings... ben and kirk do a great boy band thing in one song and there is this first grader who is like a character on charlie brown with awesome expression and perfect pitch. epitome of cute.

1 and 1

2007-12-11T19:28:00.000-05:00

TMV beat us 43 to 17. but we stayed strong... good. and no foul outs this time.

i'm annoyed with my new "job" of babysitter. i really enjoy coaching actually even though i feel like i have no idea what i'm doing. and i don't. at all. BUT... now we have two managers, sisters, one is in my class and the other in 3rd grade. today was a stark reminder of just how YOUNG 3rd graders are. i think she went to the bathroom at least 30 times during the game. this is NOT what she is supposed to be doing. she's supposed to be watching the game and saying "anya rebound", "lisa FGA", "lisa FGM" etc etc etc. ..... instead i had to be doing that so that we didn't miss any and i couldn't do any actual coaching.. pushing me further behind in my learning process. augh.

and as far as teaching... every day is a struggle to actually go back. i'm sick and having a hard time getting over it because i'm exhausted from teaching AND coaching AND being a girlfriend. i find myself yelling all day long every day because the noise level in my classroom requires i yell to be heard.... i should try mr. beckman's whispering technique. hmmm.... today i stopped the class and was like "do you know that my voice hurts and you sound like a bunch of baboons?" aside from noise... 10/11 year olds are highly disrespectful. i expected much more coming into a christian school. but i guess i expected erroneously. losing faith in christian schools. i never wanted to be here in the first place and this is making it all the harder... i wish for a class of 21 urban children who don't speak english as a first language. all i want for christmas....

<3

2007-12-06T21:55:00.000-05:00

everyone should see Juno. it's excellent. and cute. and funny. and perfectly cast.

snow and new high score in tetris

2007-12-05T18:10:00.000-05:00

84, 567

coaching record

2007-11-29T20:20:00.000-05:00

first game was tonight. against ISA. brings back memories. driving students to the game was funny too. i was reminded of what high school was like. it's funny. the things you say as a teenager. hehe. anyways. career coaching record now stands at 1-0. undefeated. until next time. yeeeeeesssss. we have so much potential but need much more practice. much more. ow the screen just got really bright.

i am exhausted. no more driving to alexandria. ugh.

vacation almost over

2007-11-23T21:44:00.001-05:00

and i'm more exhausted than when it began?

but i have a new top score of 73,182 in Tetris.

so much work to do before i feel like i'm ready to go back to the classroom. oi. i think i'm going to sleep early tonight. hooray for early to bed on fridays.

i'm telling daddy

2007-11-09T18:25:00.001-05:00

SILLY DOGGIE

2007-11-02T16:55:00.001-04:00

I survived an entire quarter of teaching!!! And Kyle hasn't killed me yet. Amazing. I do have an incredible amount of back pain though. Ungraded papers too. Boo.

In other news... KayKay and Mommy won the championship last night. I was out too late. Oi. Poodles.

Also... I am clearly typing this from bed. Good things are happening. I'm mobile.

Anyways. That's it. I'm done. More cleaning of the room which was declared a national disaster area last night by el presidente himself. That was a long-time coming.

today.

2007-10-24T18:05:00.000-04:00

not the best. but i stopped in at CVS on my way home and picked up French Roast hair dye and a Hello Kitty Sticker book that included a wall poster and a doorknob hanger! so exciting.

look how happy.

2007-10-23T22:05:00.001-04:00

i was probably worn out in that picture too, but something about natalie's energy was electric in those days. i'm pretty sure there's not much different in my life, but my worn out seems more pervasive. perhaps it's just the forthcoming winter... if that ever happens. consistently. ever.

anyways... i like this picture. taken by brae. at the cov. about a year ago.

what a bad day.

2007-10-23T21:40:00.001-04:00

that is all i have to say.

little buggers

2007-10-22T18:59:00.000-04:00

I had the following happy thought as I sleepily drove home at 5pm this evening: "There is chilled hard cider in the fridge. Yum."

It wasn't a particularly bad day, I've had worse, but I was just in the need of a pick-me-up. That along with actually finally making my Kielbasa Corn Chowder was everything I needed. I also need more sleep. Much behind on the grading though. No sleep till it's all done. EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.

Chowder is yummy and nice when it's chilly outside. I get sad when my boyfriend's not over (even though I told him not to come because I am so behind on grading). My back really really really hurts. Drew cracked it last night just by hugging me tight (a total accident)... that's how stressed I am/out of whack it is. ugh.

In happier thoughts, I saw HSM on ice this weekend. Brilliant. Totally worth how ridiculous I felt being 23 and choosing to be there because all the little 5-year-old girls knew all the words and were screaming their heads off. :) That's what I like. Did I mention I was with 20 17-18 year-olds? And that it was an 18th birthday party for one of them? Good times.

That is all. I should be grading. So I can sleep.

lonely

2007-10-14T01:05:00.001-04:00

nenny is not meant to live alone. especially in a house that is supposed to have 3 other roommates. silence is killer. human beings i came in contact with today: rachelle (ever so briefly as she came home to change for her dinner out), johnny depp, shia lebouf, hilary and haylie duff. at least... those are the names i know from the movies i watched. oh yeah, there were also kevin kline and meg ryan. and robin williams for a brief time.

talked to boyfriend on the phone...

does any of that actually count as human contact? boo.

a funny from this week.

2007-10-13T18:47:00.001-04:00

we've been having issues with the boys' bathroom and it being a constant mess, children slipping around, breaking necks.. hehehe. no. minor issues though.

the following email exchange is what makes me smile at work every day.

From: Saunders, Ted NVCA
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 11:19 AM
To: Elementary Teachers
Subject: FW: boys bathroom

Elementary Teachers,

Some time between 7:45 and 9:50 a boy went to use the bathroom and made a mess. Please talk to your students that may have gone to the bathroom during this time. It appears to be a reoccurring thing in one of the boy’s stalls. See e-mail below.

Make it a Great Friday! ~Ted

From: Underwood, Lynnette NVCA
Sent: Tuesday, October 09, 2007 10:40 AM
To: Saunders, Ted NVCA; Elementary Teachers
Subject: boys bathroom

Fifth grade was in the bathroom just now (10:35) and one of my boys flushed a toilet that had not been flushed before we got there.

Just FYI.

-Lynnette

From: Lochbihler, David NVCA
Sent: Friday, October 12, 2007 12:24 PM
To: Underwood, Lynnette NVCA; Saunders, Ted NVCA; Elementary Teachers
Subject: RE: boys bathroom

I have forwarded this to the Washington Post...

From: Kennedy, Lindsey NVCA
Sent: Fri 12-Oct-07 1:21 PM
To: Lochbihler, David NVCA; Underwood, Lynnette NVCA; Saunders, Ted NVCA; Elementary Teachers
Cc:
Subject: RE: boys bathroom

I'm glad you got the Post...I already informed Fox 5, ABC, and NBC.

But on a serious note, I have had to flush 2 of the boys toilets about every other time we go down there. Yucky.

Lindsey

i want this.

2007-10-01T21:47:00.001-04:00

i need one. for learning purposes in my classroom. of course.

hello kitty waffles

2007-09-29T11:21:00.001-04:00

My sister is playing growed up this weekend. visiting my college and going to classes and playing with the big kids. she's graduating this year. and going to college. most likely covenant. I'm so proud of her and so weirded out by her adultness. Several times this weekend I've asked myself "who are you and what have you done with my sister?" She's just not allowed to be a grown up and go off on her own to my college. :) I needed more reasons to visit down there. Chatty-town here I come!

Meanwhile... I laid down to take a nap yesterday around 5:30 or 6 and next I knew it was after midnight. Nice nap. I went upstairs for I was thirsty. Scared the poo out of Elise who didn't think anyone else was home. Had a little chat with her while she put together a castle cake. Then scampered on back downstairs to sleep till morning. I officially got up out of bed at 10 am. That's one way to celebrate a birthday. It's my way. Rest up.

Once I woke, I made myself banana nut waffles. Hello Kitty waffles. Yum. They are delicious and there is nothing like biting into HK's head. Nothing cuter anyways.

Tonight is the Medieval Birthday Bash. The Barbarian Queen shall make her stand in glorious pleather. I still need to acquire an axe to wield.

And yesterday we picked apples. Parents were in charge of all the kids, I was able to roam free and pick my own apples. I hope I'll find time tomorrow to bake an apple pie or some applesauce. I also promised cupcakes to celebrate my birthday with the kiddos. Kinda forgot on Thursday night, well... got locked out of my house, actually. And then it was very late. Oopsies.

We're starting our Build a Biome project on Monday. And we're supposed to have UnderMart. Which is supposed to be the last Friday of the every month, but seeing as we were in an apple orchard yesterday... I will be getting to school really early to price the merchandise. I also don't have their checks written for this past week. And interims go out next week. Oi. with the poodles already. Oi with them.

Guess I have to get busy.

Happy day to me.

untitled loathing

2007-09-25T22:13:00.000-04:00

parents... ugh.

i think they are worse than the children. it's no wonder the kids do what they do during class, that's what their parents do! i guess i look like someone you can commandeer. insert choice bad word here. must sleep.

i want

2007-09-16T12:24:00.001-04:00

from etsy.com

in bed at 10:30 on a friday.

2007-09-15T11:01:00.000-04:00

I was purely exhausted last night. It was kinda pathetic. I woke at one to strange noises coming from the living room. This isn't the first time I've heard strange rolling and clanking and laughter. I just stayed in bed and tried to sleep. I woke again at 4. Wide awake this time. Same noises had continued on. Thoughts of going upstairs and yelling.

I did eventually go back to sleep and I have no idea what was happening up there. There is a case of beer on the kitchen counter and a DVD player in the middle of the floor. Mystery. Must create sound barrier because closet does not have a ceiling save the floor of the living room and I'm tired of hearing everything that goes on upstairs. Plus! I feel tired this morning still. It's 11 and I have to get to work. Loads of planning to do. Probably wishful thinking to get laundry done too. I can't wait till a weekend occurs in which I do not have to plan anything for school. That would be so wonderful.

PUFFY - Kuchibiru Motion

2007-09-09T18:37:00.001-04:00

ah the dilemas

2007-09-06T17:15:00.000-04:00

When one is a teacher, sleep becomes of the utmost importance. So....

...does one yell at the roommates to keep it down when they are screaming with laughter at 11 pm? (I did. I had been in bed for nearly an hour. Could not stand the stomping and screaming any longer.)

...how do you balance work and play? If I play with my friends, the work won't get done. Ever. Maybe I could do both... haven't figured that out yet.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

I enjoy random phone calls with silly stories and listening ears. It makes my day bright. I do actually miss the Red House now and again. Wish I could go down there for the Infradig and some McKay shopping. In serious need of literature. Would spend $100 or so and probably get a good load of books.

Ah. well. hmm..

Day Two

2007-09-05T21:03:00.001-04:00

I meant to write last night. What a day! It was a blast and crazy and I felt so much better about my first day after the other seasoned teachers were like "oooooooh my... it's finally over"

The only real glitch in my first day of teaching ever was that mid-morning one of the kids raised his hand and asked "When do we get to know your name?"

DUH! (I had met most everyone already... so really... I was just assuming and not thinking about the whole as individuals)

Anyways... day two. (Two days! I've worked for two days as a teacher! Two days of my first year of teaching are over!) I made two boys cry during math. Addition is hard. They were valiant though and tried to hard to be men and not reveal their sadness to me. T huffed and fought off the tears like a pro. K covered his eyes strategically with his hand so as to conceal the wetness streaming down his cheeks. So sweet.

I am exhausted. And there is so much to do. Always.

addicted

2007-09-02T13:01:00.000-04:00

All the capital letters in the last post make me think someone else wrote it. hehe.

I am addicted to M.I.A.'s new cd. Hence the title of this post. I think I am addicted to wasting time too. I was reading Lauren's blog about the first week of teaching and realized I'm in that same situation one week later. Wanting to go shopping to look the part instead of sitting down with lesson plans. This year seems more crucial than last year did, even though I know I affected lives with my teaching however brief it may have been. I don't think any of those kids will fail, but I treated it much more like college than I am doing now. Which I think is part of my current problem. I've worked myself into a frenzy thinking nothing I'm planning is good enough. I have no one to defer to when parents come in. So I want to be the best best best. No breaks for self. I'm going to have to pull back a little and realize it is what it is. I will do my best, but there are no guarantees.

I really want to read Nappy Hair on the first day of school. Sharing a piece of literature that I love. I don't know if that's acceptable. Back ups are Oh, Were They Ever Happy and Stellaluna. Both of which will probably be revisited later on in the year.

Okay.. so I really am excited which is overwhelming the majority of my fears... I only have 8 students. That's way less than a typical classroom. That's a comfortable way to start. It's good.

Listen to M.I.A.

Welcome to Ms. Underwood's room

2007-09-01T15:01:00.000-04:00

it's September. The month of school. Time to capitalize letters. School has already consumed me within its vortex of time warping power. I don't know where I am anymore. But I know that fifth grade is awkward. I met several of my students on Friday, they are going to be wonderful.

I am petrified of the beginning of this thing and knowing it's not over till June. I feel at home in NVCA though. Surrounded by people who are willing to help and already love me. The parents scare me more than any of the kids ever will. Even though six of the kids are boys. SIX BOYS! That's more boys than I had in my fifth grade class at Rivermont, which was basically 1/6th of the class total. At NVCA, boys make up 3/4 of my class.

I spent the entire last week in meetings and decorating my room/cleaning it out. The last teacher was a science junkie. So much science stuff. I was focused so much on the cleaning and organizing that I don't have a clue what I'm teaching anymore. Yikes. And had my mom not come in, I probably would have spent a lot more time in the vortex...with no clue what time it was.

This is where everything else in my life suffers for my profession. I am by no means a workaholic. School sucks everything out. I think I had only a couple of good meals this week. None of them made by me. I saw my boyfriend about two times. A shocking departure from the norm of the last few months. I may as well be in Chattanooga teaching. It feels the same as when I was down there. Long distance. Eating my insides. I also think there is so much information in my head that I can't process any of it. In school we always talked about the "filing system in the brain" and I think mine has always been short-circuited. Those files are lying in haphazard piles like my life in my basement bedroom. Part of which is damp from who knows what.

Speaking of being unproductive.... blogging is that.

Takashi Sorimachi - Poison

2007-08-25T15:41:00.001-04:00

all hail a new school year. let's make today another gr-reat day.

kids

2007-08-22T22:00:00.000-04:00

i have real kids! six now.

taylor, gabe, christopher, samantha, jill, kirk

those are fairly straightforward names too. except for taylor. in my gut i'm thinking boy. but i'm hoping girl so that it's even.

ha. kids!

oh man

2007-08-21T17:14:00.000-04:00

gtn is tired.

new teacher orientation starts thursday. 8:15 am. that's early early for me. after that i have to be at school for meetings/planning (also known by some as "in-service") by 8 am every morning. on the fourth, the first day of school, i have to be there by 7:30 am. i look at those times and want to yelp. but then i glance over at the pile of textbooks and whimper instead.

not complaining. i already love my job. i can't wait to meet my 5 kids and dig into our year together. but i also know exactly what my days off are, when christmas vacation starts, and what the last day of school is. what teacher doesn't know that kind of thing?

my whirring brain needs to get back to its books... i think i'm conquering spelling tonight. i have a grasp on science and math for the first couple weeks. i think.....

maybe.

[confidence slipping...]

gtn begin

2007-08-13T17:58:00.000-04:00

i have a job. i'm signing the contract this week.

who wants to help me make a poster that says "let's make today another great day!" for my classroom?

interviews

2007-08-13T16:17:00.000-04:00

today was number five.

and again. mary underwood is known by everyone. and her volleyball team's reputation definitely goes before them. the principal was like "oh man. they're good." and he looked like he could play some mean basketball this very day.

i feel good. better that i'll know their decision by the end of this week. instead of like how i waited a month to hear from certain other places. i really liked the school. it seems like a place i could be free to do a lot of my own thing. as long as it actually works and shows the desired outcomes. but duh.

anyways.. don't tell my mom that they start new teacher orientation on the 23rd. which means dad will be needing someone in the office right at the tail end of her volleyball camp/tryouts.

i need to finish harry potter so he doesn't keep me up nights any more. rowling and her magical magicked book. stupid. why is sleeping even important?

answer: because nenny goes crazy without it. and writes people letters with tiny markers on big pieces of construction paper. .... except that part is normal. hmm...

monkeys on a plane

2007-08-08T22:04:00.000-04:00

visit here.

today was encouraging. rachel came over to see my place. it's so weird to be around someone i went to college with, but very comforting. we have a lot in common since we're just two of a handful of gals who graduated elementary education this past may. it's nice. i miss that group that i basically lived in the curriculum lab with and now i get to live near one of them again. and we can bitch about education together. or i can live vicariously at the very least.

also.. i'm determined to have a teaching job. i know i could survive the year if i worked at way of faith - money-wise and sanity-wise (ABeka...ahem) but i'm determined still to possibly find something else. i just need to keep at it. a couple schools that hadn't been on the list before popped on today needing teachers in the upper elementary grades.

how many phone calls is too many before it becomes considered obnoxious? and how many after that is considered stalking? i'm not even close to either of those... yet.

ok... i didn't mean to be posting lots of pictures and webcomics and other such things... but this is too good. a softer world has been delightful lately.

i shudder

2007-08-06T15:24:00.000-04:00

School Vision and Mission Statement

As a community of learners we value and promote both academic achievement and social development. We believe that everyone should exhibit respect and appreciation for all members of our diverse community. We are dedicated to providing a safe and positive environment to ensiure the success of all students.

We maintain that every child is entitle to:
>A constructive learning environment that includes differentiated instruaction, flexible grouping, and support through enrichment activities.
>On-going indivisual assessment through clear and credible evaluations.
>A staff commiteed to continuous professional development to ensire student achievement.

Our mission is to provide students with the opportunity to:
>Deminstrate their full potential in all areas of learning both during and after school.
>Become confident and contributing lifelong learners who are enthusiastic readers, speakers, writers, problem solvers, and critical thinkers.
>Utilize technologucal tools to sipport their individual learning styles.
>Benefit from parent and community involvement.

all those spelling errors make me sad. they don't quite motivate me to use capital letters on my blog yet. hehe. but i'm also unmotivated to pursue a position with them... even though i have up to this point, enjoyed the idea because the school is about 10-15 minutes away.

2007-08-05T15:59:00.000-04:00

this weekend. hobble hobble hobble.

a week ago i wished i could be a flamingo so that i could stand on one leg all the time. i take it back.

i don't think my right foot is more than just twisted and bruised. thankfully. it hasn't turned any rotten colors. but it still hurts like hell.

2007-08-03T23:38:00.001-04:00

this summer has been one of discouragement. i've had four interviews with Christian schools in the Washington Metro area and had three distinct turn downs following what i thought were really great interviews. the fourth interview was not so much an interview as two very old ladies that run a school in a very old building relaying to me that they were in fact completely desperate to get teachers and would i consider it even though they could only, at best, pay me 25,000 for the year.

i had begun to wonder if the schools were all turned off by the color, or colors, of my hair. maybe Christians really are that shallow. not too surprising. though incredibly sad.

next i wondered if i was simply being punished for not pursuing my "calling" correctly. perhaps i never really listened to God and what He had to say. i was just making it all up on my own and doing what i wanted. effectively blocking out everything else. in that case, i'm a really good liar. i've created a very convincing story that has me entranced and spewing forth all the ridiculous nonsense that i've created.

maybe i'm deficient in some way. or not trying hard enough.

but i'm exhausted. and utterly discouraged by the general consensus that i lack experience and am not, in fact, qualified for the jobs i had been contacted to interview for.

thus, i am wary of anything that seems handed to me. i'm thrilled that i am actually in dialogue with a local principal in a public school about a kindergarten position that may open up as their head count increases above the limit. they're bursting at the seams, yet the official people are telling them "just a few more". i'm praying really hard that a few more kids show up. and then i'm praying even harder that the principal is actually serious about contacting me when that moment arises. and then i panic at the thought that i'll be walking into a school that is already in session for an entire week and having to learn a new place and set up a classroom and teach around 20 little bodies in their second or third week of school. they won't be able to read! i feel unprepared and unqualified now. for sure. but all along i've said i'd love a challenge.

and this would be the moment in which my screaming head gets a flash of students past. lanika, kyrell, kailey, sandra, correll, amber, augtonia, de'onta, xena, adairyian... and i start praying again. praying that my little ones do well in first grade and that my big ones make it unscathed through the beginnings of junior high. i'm not sure they'll all survive. i'm sure that a couple of them will become unwed mothers/fathers. some will see the insides of a cell. but, God, i pray. and i know that no matter how hard something might be for me... it's really nothing compared to what some of my kidlets might face in the next few years of their lives. kailey's frequent outbursts due to his autism may land him in a special ed classroom where he will flounder because he will be bored. kyrell might like swinging with the naughty boys so much that his brains will be unused even though he has huge potential (he's the kind of kid i'd allow to operate on me someday, when he has all the proper licenses, of course). amber is beautiful and sassy - boys will fight over that one... and i'm keeping my eye out for miss augtonia in the public arena someday, advocating for something or another, using that voice and delivery of hers.

that's how i know i'm right. i'm supposed to be a teacher. that's who i am. and where i need to be. which brings me back to that confused place. why don't i have a job. what am i doing wrong?

and we have to start the whole process over again.

and so it begins...

2007-07-31T19:14:00.000-04:00

will i feel more grown up now that i have a blogger instead of xanga? probably not.

will dubbing myself "great teacher nen" after the great GTO get me a job? perhaps not.

what i know for sure. dagoba bars + hello kitty charms = happy nenny tummy.